Lets start at the beginning-ish

      I guess what I want to do first is paint a picture for you (my reader...hopefully I will have some) about my life at night. This includes an important person - J. 
J and I have been together for almost 2 years now. We have lived together for the past year. J is cool. I mean 'laugh at my farts, think I'm pretty when I'm crying, buy me tampons" cool. He is the penguins pajamas. J is and always will be the first person I want to see when I wake up and the last person I want to see before bed. blah blah mushy gushy. 


     Anyway. I learned early on in our relationship that J is not a sound sleeper. He can be very restless and tends to wake up in the middle of the night to eat. Yeah, its weird. It's like something possesses him and in the words of J himself he "NEEDS" something. This something is usually sweets. Cookie, candies, ice cream, cake anything will due. He stumbles from bed in a sleep stupor and raids the kitchen. 
       
     What if I haven't baked any cakes or have a fresh pie cooling in the window you ask? Chocolate milk, peanut butter licked from a spoon, or a sweet potato will work. Again I will say its weird. Even if I don't hear or feel him wake up during the night I can always tell that he's been milling about the kitchen because he almost always leaves evidence. A smear of peanut butter on the stove, powdered sugar on the counter, chocolate fingerprints on the refrigerator handle.


This has become normal to me. It's actually kept me from eating sweets because even if I do buy some, its almost a guarantee that they will have disappeared by the morning, thus preventing me from acquiring cellulite on my ass. So for that J, I thank you.


Oh! I almost forgot to add that J is a big guy. We're talkin 6'2 and a cool 220 lbs. So when I say sweets disappear during the night, I don't just mean a sleeve of Oreos, I mean a whole package of Oreos. Might I add that he is all muscle. Which just isn't fair. Why is it that boys can house a package of Oreos, an entire chocolate cake and a half gallon of milk then sleep for 9 hours and still look good? I would be so hugeeee! Whatever, boys are smelly.


I think this is enough for my first post. I bet everyone got bored and no one is even reading anymore. If you are, THANKS. I promise next post I will include weird and hilarious things that when told to my sister, she shot beer out of her nose. So look forward to that.


Peace, Love, and Oreos
Chels